Some people are happy to brown-nose their way to promotions, and some feel that resorting to such tactics is beneath them. Some people are happy to bend the rules and manipulate others to achieve their ends, while others feel that resorting to such behaviour is beneath them.

While these are extreme examples, everything that we are (or aren't) willing to do in a given situation is based on the narrative in our heads. As Seth Godin often says, "People like us do (or don't do) things like this".

We do things that fit the narrative in our heads and don't do things that don't fit the narrative.

If things are not going well for you, maybe you ought to try changing the narrative in your heads to let you try an alternate approach.